


The persistence of fireflies

by Juriaka



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Dates, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Build, Spoilers, atsumu is so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24199099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juriaka/pseuds/Juriaka
Summary: Atsumu has to face his feelings towards Shouyou, and Shouyou has to accept that he will never be able to play volleyball again. I swear to God that it's not as depressing as it sounds, maybe just a little bit melancholic but mostly fluff and positive, trust me.Also, this ship is driving me crazy, please send help.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 9
Kudos: 93





	The persistence of fireflies

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! This is my first fanfiction using english language. I'm from Italy and I suck at it, so please bear with me! AtsuHina is sooo underestimated (at least in my country), it deserves more love for sure! Hope you like it!  
> Thank you. <3

They arrived at the shores of Lake Motosu around nine in the morning. The sun was shining high in the sky and Mount Fuji was standing out in all its splendor beyond the expanse of crystal clear water, which was rippling under the breath of the summer breeze. Shouyou was radiant, keeping his fingers tight around the straps of his backpack and looking around amazed, inspired by the beauty of the landscape. Bokuto and Akaashi immediately went to collect wood near the camping area, while Atsumu and Hinata started to set up the two Canadian tents borrowed from Sakusa, choosing an uncrowded spot. 

Atsumu discovered that he was totally incapable of doing that, while Hinata, on the contrary, seemed to be particularly prepared.

«I often went camping with mom and Natsu» he explained, under the astonished gaze of Atsumu. 

Once finished, they placed the sleeping bags and the food supplies for lunch and dinner inside the tent, to protect them from the heat of the sun.

«Do ya wanna take a walk?» he asked, seeing that Bokuto and Akaashi weren't returned yet.

«Mmh» replied Shouyou, not too convinced. «Actually, I would like to play.»

«To play?» Atsumu frowned, while a negative presentiment suddenly appeared. «Play what?»

Shouyou went towards his backpack with an enthusiastic expression written on his face, as if he was about to show him his greatest hidden treasure.

«Volleyball, of course!» he exclaimed, pulling out from the backpack a swollen, pastel blue ball.

Atsumu felt his heart sink. He held his breath, his lips tightened in a taut line, his eyebrows curved downwards. For a moment, he hoped that he had misunderstood. He would have liked to react better, perhaps returning the wide smile blossomed on Shouyou's face, or simply nodding vigorously, exclaiming that _yes, of course, what an amazing idea!_

Instead, he said the worst thing.

«Are you sure?» he whispered, his eyes widening with concern.

«Of course» Shouyou replied, shrugging his shoulders. «The fact that I can't be on the court anymore doesn't mean that I can't hold a ball anymore, Atsumu-san.»  


Atsumu followed him to the lakeshore, biting his cheeks until he felt the metallic taste of blood around his tongue. He would have willingly slapped himself at that moment. 

He didn't expect Shouyou -in a so lightly way- to make such a proposal after all that had happened, and after all the time that had passed. Atsumu, however, should have had the sensitivity and readiness to transform his astonishment into an exclamation of happiness, not into an expression of sadness or, even worse, fear. Shouyou was kind, but Atsumu had caught the bitter -almost angry- spark that had glinted in his irises for a moment, before quickly heading off towards the beach with the ball in his hand.

«Besides, it's been such a long time since we played together» Shouyou added, placing himself in front of him, in a whisper that seemed almost annoyed towards himself.

Atsumu would always remember their last game. The fateful last time. The day of the injury. The day when the ground had washed away beneath Atsumu's feet, while Shouyou's world had collapsed.

Simply, the day when everything had gone dark.

They were playing the second game against the Adlers. Kageyama's revenge, Shouyou had renamed it this way when they shook hands under the net, in memory of their previous match that ended up with the victory for the Black Jackals. Atsumu was in great shape. His tosses were perfect, and it would not have been an exaggeration saying that he and Kageyama were fighting equally. Shouyou was smiling, Bokuto was smiling, Hoshiumi was smiling, even Ushijima had his lips slightly arched upwards.  
That really was volleyball, with the shivers spreading intense like electric shocks after each point, the stomach twisting like an eel first excited and then frustrated and then happy again depending on where the ball bounced. The players' throbbing hearts were beating in unison across the court, the place where they felt alive, powerful and immortal. The lust for victory was palpable, and Atsumu only wished that the game would never end. Still, it was over. And in the worst possible way.

It happened during the fourth set. Atsumu sensed Shouyou's insatiable hunger on his right, and he chose him without being able to hold back a roar of joy exploding in his chest. He loved his spiker, and if they had won he would have confessed to him right away. If they had lost, he would have confessed anyway, because he doubted that he would be able to resist another day in the locker room without literally jumping on him. He was so motivated that he had even dared to reveal it to his brother in preview - even if Osamu already knew it, of course.

However, he made a mistake: his first mistake in the game. He still didn't know how much it would cost. 

The toss was long, too long. He suppressed an imprecation between his lips, while Shouyou did his best. Instead of spiking, he tried everything with a lob, managing to score a point. His last point.

It fell badly. In a cry of pain, Shouyou fell on the ground slippery of sweat with his hands pressed around his knee.

Kageyama was the first to reach him, crouching next to him with terror in his wide eyes, followed by Bokuto, Sakusa, Hoshiumi. Atsumu, on the contrary, remained perfectly still, his lips parted in an incredulous expression, while Shouyou was dragged away on a stretcher. The game ended with Adlers' victory, even though no one cared anymore. That same evening they all went to the hospital.

 _Anterior cruciate ligament rupture_ , said the doctor.

 _They'll have to operate on me. I probably won't be able to play volleyball again_ , said Shouyou.

And the air became cold and burning at the same time, even rarefied. Atsumu was feeling his sternum lift in rhythm, but oxygen wasn't reaching the lungs. A bad dream, a nightmare, it had to be like this.

But it wasn't.

That night everyone cried. Lips tight and trembling, nails stuck in the palms of their hands, and lots of bitter tears. Atsumu had the feeling of being at a funeral, and perhaps it was a bit like that, because part of Shouyou had been lost forever.

The ball that came straight to his face brought him back from the memories. Bokuto and Akaashi reached them after about half an hour, carrying two bags full of dry branches in their arms. They placed them near the tents.

« _Hey hey hey_ , two against two?» Bokuto proposed, putting an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders.

«So cool, Bokuto-san!» Hinata replied enthusiastically, joining Atsumu. «It reminds me of beach volleyball in Rio!»

In Akaashi's irises, a shadow of doubt flashed, but he remained silent.

They played for about another hour and a half. Atsumu didn't believe that he would toss again to Shouyou, and instead there he was, hungry and radiant as if time had never passed, as if he had never left the court, as if volleyball was still part of his life, despite his elevation had decreased significantly. Atsumu was ashamed of himself, but there had been a time when he feared -believed- that Shouyou would never recover, because that obstacle was too high to overcome even for him who knew how to fly. But now his wings were cut off, and he had nothing more to fly with. Immediately after the accident, Shouyou seemed to be perfectly fine. He smiled at everyone and he was enthusiastic as if nothing had happened. Atsumu was terrified, he expected Shouyou to collapse at any moment, but after the first two months passed smoothly and without any incident, Atsumu seriously began to think that perhaps the ex-spiker was really fine, and his energy and his positivity had allowed him to overcome that tragedy in the blink of an eye. 

He even found a part-time job, his brother Osamu hired him because he needed a hand and Shouyou didn't want to abandon his little apartment in Tokyo.

One evening, however, Atsumu passed by Shouyou to greet him, bringing two pizzas.

When the other opened the door, he sensed immediately that something was off. Shouyou had swollen and red eyes, and slightly trembling shoulders. 

«Why are you here?» he blew like a wild cat, as if he was angry.

Atsumu hesitated a moment before answering, struck by that unusual tone of voice.

«Uhm, because this was the program? Pizzas, and a good movie...?» he said, looking at the pizzas boxes he held.

«I sent you a message. I told you I didn't want to see anyone.»

«I... I haven't read it» Atsumu replied hesitantly, and his heart began to beat faster.

For a moment, he thought that Shouyou would punch him. He had a dark, furious light in his eyes, which he had never seen before. It was frightening.

«Okay. Fine.»

He breathed deeply, almost with despair, as if he was trying to calm down and cling to the last glimmer of rationality he possessed. «But I don't feel very well. Maybe I've got a fever, and I don't want you to get sick because of me. See you tomorrow.»

He pointed at the door, but Atsumu didn't move. He put pizzas' boxes on the ground, slowly, because he didn't want to make too sudden movements.

«Shouyou» he called out, in a firm tone, taking a step towards him. Shouyou merely glanced at him with a wounded and suspicious look, as if he had just been betrayed, but did not reply.

« _Shouyou_ » he tried again, moving closer. Now just a few centimeters separated them, and Atsumu sensed Shouyou's heavy breathing colliding against his cotton sweatshirt.

And then, with a sweet and agonizing slowness, a big tear glistened in his big eyes, then slipped down his cheek covered with freckles, and finally shattered on the tatami with a _plic_. Another followed, and then one another, while his blind fury was replaced by despair. Atsumu had never seen Shouyou cry. And he would not have wished such a spectacle even to his worst enemy. He was sobbing softly, hiding his face against his sweatshirt, which soon became soaked. All he could do was hold him tightly, trying to calm down his tremor with his own arms. Shouyou had never seemed so small and fragile.

«Atsumu-san» he mumbled, his tongue mixed with tears and saliva. «Do something. _Please_.»

But Atsumu remained motionless, biting his cheeks and pressing him with even more impetus against his sternum.

«I can't lose volleyball... I don't want to!» he shouted, raising his face to look directly at him, his body shattered by sobs. «Please. Help me.»

But Atsumu cannot help him. Nobody could. And feeling so helpless against such an acute and penetrating suffering was the worst feeling he had ever experienced in his entire life. Shouyou didn't deserve living that hell. After all those years spent training, after all his efforts, the fruit of his sacrifices had dissolved in less than a second.  
And his dream had died with him.

Shouyou cried without stopping for a time that seemed infinite, until he pushed him away violently. Before Atsumu could ask himself why, he saw him throw up even his soul on the floor.

«Fuck» Atsumu said, going near to him and holding him up, to drag him into the bathroom. He vomited three more times, kneeling in front of the toilet bowl. He was in such violent retching that it seemed just like he was trying to regurgitate all his anger and suffering, in addition to the lunch he had ate a few hours earlier. As soon as he was able to stand again, he threw himself into the shower and washed away the smell of tears and bile, while Atsumu cleaned the floor. When Shouyou left the bathroom, he lay down on the bed with his bathrobe still on, while his wet locks of hair dampened the pillow.

«I'm sorry, Atsumu-san» he whispered softly, the voice seemed to have regained its usual tone. «I was pathetic.»

Atsumu shook his head, caressing his hair.

«You should dry them. Or ya'll get sick 'cause of it.»

«So what?» he replied, with a bitter laugh. «I can't go back to the court anyway.»

Atsumu remained silent, his heart tightening.

«I'm sorry» added Shouyou, immediately after. «I was an asshole.»

«Shouyou, you're many things, but certainly not an asshole. I'm the only asshole here, so ya better watch out» said Atsumu, before going back to the bathroom to take the hairdryer. He plugged it into the socket next to the bed, and gently dried his hair, which became soft and swollen. Shouyou said nothing, merely lowering his eyelids.  
Once finished, Atsumu took a pair of boxers and pajamas from the closet.

«Come on, get dressed. You can't stay in a wet bathrobe» he scolded, throwing the clothes at him.

Shouyou snorted into the pillow, while remaining still.

«Shouyou. We're in fucking December.»

Seeing that the other continued to show no signs of life, Atsumu pinched his hips from above the bathrobe. The other twitched, stifling what appeared to be a hint of laughter.

«Don't tell me you're ticklish...» Atsumu exclaimed, dazed. Before Shouyou could answer him, he raged on his ribs and neck, tickling his skin mercilessly, while the other writhed howling with laughter.

«Stop, stop, please! I'm going to get dressed, I swear!» he shouted, trying to shelter himself from Atsumu's ruthless fingers, who looked away while the other put on his boxers and pajamas. Then Shouyou placed himself under the blanket.

«Come closer» he said, his voice just cracked. Atsumu swallowed, feeling his throat suddenly dry, but he slipped under the blanket and lied down next to Shouyou. The warmth made his back tingle, and his mind was clouded. Shouyou kept his eyes open, fixed on the ceiling. He didn't even blink. Atsumu wondered what he was looking at, and if he could actually see something beyond the darkness that had fallen on him a few months earlier.

«Shouyou» he said after a while, brushing his freckled cheek. «I'll help ya. That's a promise.»

Shouyou stared at him, with an expression he could not decipher. Then he pursed his lips and blew out a crystalline laugh, which made him blush. Atsumu grumbled some nonsense in response and turned off the light. Shouyou pressed his face against his chest.

«Dammit!» he snapped out of the blue.

«Now what?»

«Pizzas! You brought them!» Shouyou complained, feeling guilty.

«We'll eat them for breakfast tomorrow. Now get some sleep or I'll punch ya.»

Shouyou nodded and finally fell asleep.

«Atsumu-san? _Atsumu-san!_ »

Atsumu jumped. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realize that Shouyou was calling him.

«Is everything okay?» asked Bokuto, tilting the back of his neck.

Atsumu nodded, muttering some excuses. On that day memories just didn't want to leave him alone. When noon came, and the sun began to pierce the back of their heads, they stopped playing and Shouyou entered in the tent to get some lunch. Osamu had prepared onigiri for everyone, which they had to consume within the first half of the day to prevent the rice from going to waste because of the sultry heat. They chose a beautiful oak with a large and powerful trunk, in the wood that stood a few meters away from the campsite, and began to eat with joy, sheltered by the thick and dark green foliage.

«A ladybug!» Shouyou exclaimed, pointing at the back of Atsumu's hand. The ladybug had leaned on it and he hadn't realized it.

«It brinfgs goofd luckf!» Bokuto mumbled with his mouth full, enthusiastic, spitting a few grains of rice on the grass.

Atsumu watched it paddle along his knuckles, small and brightly colored. Shouyou admired the ladybug electrified, as if he was looking at something unique. Atsumu had always had a soft spot for his genuine ability to be surprised even by the simplest things. Shouyou took nothing for granted, but he attributed value and meaning to every little gesture, regardless of how trivial it might seem. He knew how to find beauty in pretty much everything and how to preserve it, making every moment important and precious. Initially Atsumu had mistaken this attitude for the typical childish naivety, believing that sometimes Shouyou was even immature, but then he realized that Shouyou, in reality, understood life much better than him. Nothing lasts forever, and it's crucial not to waste any second, regardless of how stupid and fleeting it may seem. 

«Open your hand» said Atsumu, then he brought his hand near Shouyou's one and the ladybug, who was now scampering along his index finger, used it as a bridge to pass over the palm of the other.

«Oh!» Shouyou exclaimed, watching the insect spin around its fingers. «So cool!»

It reached the tip of the middle finger, then it opened its small wings and flew away, disappearing in a black sparkle. Shouyou went back eating again, filling his cheeks like a squirrel, while a thoughtful gleam peeked through his golden irises. Atsumu wondered if he hadn't remembered when he was capable of flying too.

«I've got to go to the toilet!» said Bokuto, swallowing the last bite of onigiri.

«I have to go too!» Shouyou shouted, getting up quickly.

Atsumu watched them walk away, a bit concerned.

«Do ya think they'll get lost?» he asked Akaashi, who seemed to have been struck by the same doubt.

«Yes» he replied, with a tired sigh. «But they will solve, somehow. How's Hinata doing?»

«I don't know» said Atsumu, playing with blades of grass. «Better, I hope. But it's difficult to understand what he's thinking about. He's good at pretending that everything's fine, he smiled at everyone even the week after the accident. I guess he don't want us to worry.»

«But you are very good with him» said Akaashi, pursing his lips.

Atsumu was positively impressed. Akaashi was extremely sensitive and also an excellent observer, and certainly his words were not mere phrases of circumstance.

«Thanks» muttered Atsumu, with a warm sensation around the mouth of his stomach. «Even though I screwed up a little bit earlier, when he pulled out the ball to play...»

«Well, you can't blame yourself, anyone would have felt uncomfortable. How long has it been since the last time?»

«Eight months, almost nine.»

After all that time, Atsumu still seemed to see his shadow hurtling across the court. An orange sparkle popped up from the corner of his eye, and then he expected to see a mop of vivid red hair and a giant smile, but then there were always other spikers to hit his tosses in Hinata's place, and a sense of emptiness appeared. Every time they made a point, every time they won a game, he imagined hearing Shouyou's enthusiastic roars vibrate in his eardrums, his energetic and radiant hugs, but in the end they never came, and they will never come again. Atsumu had noticed that his opponents looked for Shouyou too. When they were about to spike, or to serve, or to block, they made pupils slide along the net in a nervous way. But then, that glimmer of anxiety was replaced by a sparkle of awareness, and everyone's eyes became darker, less bright. _Almost sad_. 

Atsumu had reached the point where he dreamed of him at night: Shouyou's return. He dreamed of going to the gym and than Shouyou materialized, happy as ever, his knees fully functional. And he jumped, he jumped so high that everyone had to bend their necks upwards like turtles. Finally, Atsumu woke up with the specter of a smile impressed on his face, the joy still filling up his heart, before the awareness that it was nothing but a fantasy came to slap him hard. Then he pressed his face against the pillow, the anger stuck in his throat, and tried to sink again into Morpheus' arms, even knowing that it would be impossible. And if Atsumu was reduced in this way, although he was not the injured one, how could Shouyou ever been? When the Black Jackals had another match against the Adlers, after the accident, there was an atmosphere so heavy that even the public fell silent. Kageyama did not smile once, despite Romero trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere with a few jokes, and Atsumu didn't believe he would ever be able to do it again. Even Bokuto was quiet, simply doing his best as a player. Sakusa didn't even notice that a boy had touched his hand at the start of the game.

«Y'know, it's less fun. Volleyball, I mean» he said quickly, as if he was afraid that someone might stop him. «It's never been the same since he left.»

«Bokuto told me the same thing» Akaashi replied thoughtfully, putting a hand on his chin. «By the way, when are you going to tell him?»

«Tell him what?»

Akaashi raised an eyebrow. «That you're in love with him.»

 _Fuck_.

Atsumu felt hot. «Is it so obvious?»

«Definitely.»

«I would have liked to tell him it a long time ago, but then the accident happened and...» he stopped, thinking for a moment. «Shit, I don't know, I thought it would be... _inappropriate_.»

Akaashi blew a gentle laugh before brushing his shoulder in an encouraging gesture.

«Hinata is always Hinata. Besides, I think he would be happy. You're doing a lot for him. And he cares about you too.»

«Sometimes I'm afraid that's not enough» he replied, finding himself thinking about the first time he asked him out after the accident, about a month earlier.

On Thursday afternoon, Atsumu was struck by Shouyou's amazed expression as he stared at the window of a sushi restaurant, which had exhibited a large aquarium full of colorful fishes and koi carps. And so, that same weekend, Atsumu found himself walking next to him along the Edogawa district, heading for the Sea Life marine park which was a few minutes from the station. Atsumu hoped that Shouyou would not ask questions about why they were the two of them alone, without Sakusa and Bokuto.

«Shall we stop for a taiyaki? They make them really good there!» Shouyou exclaimed suddenly, indicating a crowded stall. Atsumu took two taiyaki, and they started walking again with jam on their lips. 

Shouyou smiled because the dessert was extremely good, Atsumu smiled because Shouyou seemed happy.

Once they arrived in front of the Sea Life box office, Atsumu found that there were already many people lined up, despite the fact that they had arrived early. When their turn came, he bought two tickets, ignoring the Shouyou's protests.

«But Atsumu-san!»

«No, Shouyou.»

«But...»

«No.»

Shouyou gave him a flaming look, which Atsumu returned with the same intensity.

«Fine!» Shouyou finally surrendered, with a resigned sigh. «But I'll pay next time!»

 _Next time_.

Atsumu hoped that Shouyou hadn't seen the perfect idiot smile that had just blossomed on his face.

He discovered that Shouyou knew as much about fishes as about volleyball.

«That's a Portuguese Caravella!» he exclaimed amazed, with his cheeks red. «People think it's a jellyfish, but it's actually a siphonophore!»

«Oh» replied Atsumu, genuinely surprised, because that thing definitely seemed a jellyfish to him.

«That's a Lionfish!» Shouyou added, indicating a very extravagant aquatic being, with long spines on his back. «It really hurts if it stings you.»

«And is it lethal?» Atsumu asked, going next to him as if he wanted to protect him.

«No, no! Not usually, at least...»

Atsumu let the other explain to him the name, habitat and behavior of each creature they encountered on the way. Many children fell silent to hear Hinata's explanations, and Atsumu couldn't help but notice how he attracted everyone's attention despite being outside the volleyball court. Maybe it was the fiery red hair, maybe it was the kind and lively eyes that reflected the multiple colors of the fish and the suffused blue of the water, shining like stars in the night. Perhaps it was simply his voice, ringing but melodic, perhaps it was the delicacy of his features, the softness of his skin and the constellation of freckles that embraced his cheekbones and nose. Maybe it was the dimple that was barely visible when he folded his lips in a smile, with his teeth sticking out pearly as he explained to a girl with braids the difference between an eel and a moray eel, or maybe it was simply his contagious enthusiasm for life.

«Atsumu-san?» Shouyou asked, noting the state of trance in which he had sunk. «Are you okay?»

«You're beautiful» said Atsumu without thinking, looking at him mesmerized. He didn't believe that it was possible for an ordinary human being to inspire all of these sensations simply by breathing. Shouyou widened his eyes, his neck and ears took the same tone as his hair, and Atsumu realized his words.

«I mean...» he whispered, panicking. « _Holy shit_ , I just...»

«Thanks!» Shouyou interrupted him beaming, although continuing to blush. «You are beautiful too, Atsumu-san!»

Then he glided his fingers along Atsumu's wrist and took his hand, dragging him forward. Atsumu could not pronounce a single word after that - although his tongue was usually so sharp - and he simply followed him, trying not to melt due to the heat radiated from their intertwined hands. They did not let go for the whole visit, and that day Atsumu discovered the existence of an emotion with an intensity comparable only to that of a game won, although it was a bit different. That sweet taste, more than the burning joy that arose from the point of victory, reminded him of the happy ending of the fairy tales that his mother told him and Osamu when they were children. He hoped from the bottom of his heart that Shouyou could feel that warmth too.

«We made it!» Bokuto exclaimed, followed by Hinata, returning from the toilet. Atsumu jumped, and forced himself to bring his mind back to the present time. They spent the early afternoon sleeping, refreshed by the shade of the large oak tree under which they were resting. Sometimes the branches rustled, driven by a light, balsamic breeze which made them sleepy. Atsumu awoke with the sun's rays vibrating under his eyelids, as the light had shifted. Akaashi was brushing Bokuto's face, who was snoring on his lap. He looked at Shouyou, who was lying next to him, and saw that he had his eyes open too. He gave him a beaming smile, to which Atsumu responded by ruffling his hair. About half-past four, when Bokuto was also awake, they walked along the lakeshore getting their feet wet. Shouyou had got freckles even on his lips, and his irises were even lighter and brighter. He laughed loudly, indicating Bokuto's face that had turned red pepper because of the sun, while Akaashi continues to ask him to stay still in order to be able to spread a generous dose of protective cream on his nose.

Atsumu wanted to freeze time. Stop it at that precise moment, while everyone was in a good mood and the Mount Fuji was reflected in the transparent water of the lake, which seemed to be watching them benevolently from the above, almost as if it wanted to comfort them, or to protect them.

Then they played for another hour, as soon as the heat became less suffocating. When evening came, Atsumu filled a pot with water and boiled it with the camping stove that Akaashi had brought with him. He pulled out eight packs of instant ramen, and they waited a few minutes. The other campers also began to eat, and a delicious scent soon spread, making everyone's stomachs grumble.

«Why don't we use fire?» Bokuto asked, perplexed.

«Because the pots would be ruined, Bokuto-san» replied Shouyou with a smile.

«So why did Akaashi and I collect all this wood for?»

«You'll see it later» said Akaashi, patient.

The water was boiling. Atsumu took a ladle and filled the ramen packs, one for each. Then they waited three minutes, and began to eat.

«Ittadakimasu!» they exclaimed in unison, and then they started eating.

«I'd eat ten more portions!» Bokuto complained, swallowing his last noodle.

«Leave some space, we brought the dessert.»

«Dessert? What dessert?»

Shouyou smiled, and then he stood up to take the two bags full of wood. He took some pine cones from the bottom, arranging them in a small pile, and then he placed on it thin and well-dried twigs. He set fire to a pine cone with a lighter and he waited for the flame to burn. When it became vivid, he took thicker branches and after a few minutes a hot, crackling fire blazed on the topsoil.

«Wow!» Bokuto exclaimed enthusiastically, and then Akaashi pulled out a bag full of marshmallows. They waited for them to soften with the heat, and then bit them.  
Atsumu had never tasted them before, but he found them delicious. Akaashi asked how Kenma was doing, and they ended up talking about him for a few minutes.  
Shouyou was extremely proud of his friend, and he told how great his career was. Suddenly, Bokuto got up and headed for the tent, returning with a guitar in his hands.

«What the fuck?! Can he play?!» Atsumu asked Akaashi, astonished, refusing to believe that Bokuto could do anything other than spike the ball in the opponent's court.

« _Why that tone?_ » replied Bokuto, offended.

«No, Hinata asked him to bring it» explained Akaashi, passing the instrument to Shouyou. Atsumu looked at him in shock, his mouth wide open, as if he was expecting to find another person instead of him.

«It's just like... I mean, I have to do something, right? I just can't stare at the ceiling for the rest of my life» he justified, embarrassed.

With the sugar still on his lips, Shouyou took up the guitar and tuned it. When he was satisfied, he took the little blue pick and started strumming. A cheerful melody spread around the fire, and to Atsumu it seemed that Shouyou, once again, managed to reach and penetrate everyone's hearts. 

He didn't need a ball in his hand to perform small miracles. 

Akaashi closed his eyes, while Bokuto was swinging his head following the rhythm. Nobody spoke, to not affect that precious and light sound that seemed warming the soul. After he became confident, Shouyou even began to sing, first whispering and then raising his voice a bit.

« _Sit down beside me, and stay awhile,  
let our hearts do the parse...  
With wide and burns to meet the house?  
So the day never starts..._»

Atsumu had never heard that song, but he found it extremely beautiful. Or maybe it was simply the fact that Shouyou was singing, saturating the atmosphere with emotions and meaning.

« _'Cause that's what I want, that's what we need...  
'Cause that's who we are, 'cause that's what we need..._»

He played three more songs, and in the end he tried to teach Bokuto the C chord, but after he almost put the guitar into the flames, Akaashi took it from his hands and placed it back in the case. They waited together for the fire to go out, mainly talking about Akaashi's work and the new manga that Udai had planned to start in a few months. The red of the burning embers grew darker and darker, until it finally vanished with a crackle.

«How cool!» Bokuto exclaimed, turning his face upwards. Without the light of the fire, the stars began to glimmer in the dark of the night.

They lay down and watched the sky in silence, broken just with the sound of their breaths. When Bokuto started snoring, Akaashi woke him up and dragged him into the tent, wishing them a goodnight.

They were left alone. 

_Finally_.

Shouyou looked at the stars, his lips stretched out in a relaxed smile and his hands resting behind his neck.

Atsumu looked at Shouyou, much more beautiful than the stars, with the honey irises that seemed to glow with their own brightness, the cheeks reddened by the sun he had taken during the day and by the heat of the fire. There would never have been a better time to express his feelings, but as soon as he found the courage and parted his lips, a fluorescent dot distracted him.

«A firefly!» Shouyou said, sitting up.

 _Dammit_.

Atsumu sat up too, managing to keep inside his mind all the curses against the fucking fireflies, and suppressing an exasperated sigh. The grass was dotted with yellow lights, which appeared and disappeared intermittently, moving slowly around them.

«There must be a female around here!» Shouyou exclaimed again, and began looking around with a vigilant gaze. Before Atsumu could ask him how he was going to spot a female firefly among that myriad of insects, Shouyou smiled radiantly.

«Here it is!» he said, pointing at the ground.

«What the fuck? Where is it? How the fuck did ya recognize it?» Atsumu asked, genuinely stunned.

«The males' light pulses, the females' one remains still» he explained, and Atsumu noticed that among the grass there was a dot that showed no sign of fading. It shone steadily, perhaps even more intense than the other companions.

«But they don't have wings. Unlike males, they cannot fly. They stay on the ground until they die» added Shouyou, and Atsumu felt sad.

«I always thought it was a little unfair, but I never thought about it seriously. Now I understand them a little, because they look exactly like me» he continued with a grunt, a little darkened.

«Shouyou...»

«Sorry!» he interrupted him, widening his eyes as if he had returned to himself. «I'm sorry, I didn't want to say such gloomy things! I don't want you to be sad!»

«Shouyou, shut up for once, yer not making me sad» stated Atsumu, with a severe tip in the tone of his voice. Then he sat behind him, wrapping his arms around him, pressing Shouyou's head against his chest, feeling Shouyou's soft hair under the chin. He stiffened for a moment, but then he let out a satisfied moan from his lips and he abandoned himself against Atsumu's warm body, who started brushing his locks of hair, thinking about how determined, strong and brave Shouyou had been, facing the accident that had upset his life completely. In spite of everything he had gone through, despite the pitiless reality, Shouyou continued to laugh and shine with so much intensity that sometimes Atsumu had to look away.

«Even if that firefly can't fly, it doesn't give up» Atsumu whispered hesitantly, because of his total inability to formulate such deep speeches.

«It's doing its best, just like you, ya know? And I think there's nothing sad about this, Shouyou.»

He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment since he was not used to speaking this way. He couldn't see the other's expression, but he hoped that he hadn't said something wrong. He hugged him tighter, as if he were afraid that Shouyou would go away. 

«Thanks» said Shouyou, softly. «For a moment, I was seriously scared that I would never get out of it. I really miss volleyball, you know?»

Atsumu nodded, rubbing his nose against the back of his neck.

«I miss the court, I miss the smell of ice spray, and the sound of the shoes that glide on the floor, the feeling of spiking a ball. I miss the taste of victory, I miss jumping. I miss it so much, pushing hard with my legs and finding myself high in the air with a 'swooosh', and then seeing beyond the net and find it free and magnificent, and then 'sbam!', hitting the ball on the ground with a bang!» he continued, waving his arm, imitating the movement of the spike with the wrist. 

«I miss playing with Bokuto and Sakusa, I miss playing with you. I miss all of this so much, and it hurts so bad, that if they took away my oxygen it would be much better, and less painful. Volleyball was everything to me» he sighed bitterly, but then he corrected himself right away. «It's everything to me still now, and it will always be. And when they told me I could never stand again on the court, never ever again, well... Well, I said to myself that maybe dying would be better!»

Atsumu opened his mouth, shocked by that statement, but before he could speak Shouyou anticipated him.

«But I don't want to give up. I can't go back and start again, but I can choose to go ahead, and living. And you helped me, a lot. Really. You helped me understand that this isn't the end, and that there are so many things worth fighting for, that can give me intense and vivid emotions just like volleyball did! Well, maybe not in the exactly same way, but just as important as it. And even if I can't play with you anymore, or with Sakusa-san, or with Bokuto-san, or against Kageyama and Ushijima-san... Well, I can be with all of you and have fun with all of you in other ways. I can move on.

«In the end, it's as if I've never left the court. This is just another volleyball game, with an opponent to beat. But I'm not alone, because volley is a team game, and you really are helping me to overcome this obstacle in the best possible way. It's just like you're still tossing to me. And I'm so thankful for this, and I want you to know that I've no intention of giving up, and...»

And at that point, Atsumu kissed him, because -fuck the entire world- if he waited for just a second more he would probably be dead. He gently pulled his hair down, making Shouyou raise his face, and he tasted his lips, quick as the beat of a hummingbird's wings. Shouyou's eyes widened in surprise, but then he moaned, demanding more attentions and more kisses, getting hotter and hotter and hotter. Atsumu believed that his heart would explode because of happiness, while brushing his cheeks -his skin was so fucking soft! 

Feeling Shouyou smiling was the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to him. They only separated when they were forced to catch their breath again. 

«You taste good» was Shouyou's first comment. Atsumu dazed.

«You too, Shouyou. In fact, ya really piss me off, you know that? How the fuck are ya always so good at everything?» snapped Atsumu, but bared his teeth in a grin as soon as he saw that the other was blushing. «And ya also know all of those things 'bout fishes, fireflies and... but they're gone!»  


The fireflies were gone. Only the stars remained, but they glowed dimly and began to fade, as the sky became lighter.

«It's almost dawn» said Atsumu, returning to hug Shouyou. He left a humid kiss on his ear, hot under his lips. «Too bad for the fireflies, though. I would've liked to bring one back to Sakusa, imagine his face.»

«He would have a heart attack, Atsumu-san!» objected Shouyou, looking at him with wide eyes. Atsumu chuckled, giving him another kiss. 

They waited for the dawn, with their fingers intertwined.

A crow fluttered towards them, gliding above the lake, and then it regained altitude and disappeared into the clouds with a black sparkle. Shouyou looked at it curiously, and while his eyes became golden because of the sun, and the freckles returned to appear timidly on his nose, Atsumu was sure that Shouyou had never stopped flying.

**Author's Note:**

> OMG thank you for reading it! It's my first experiment on AO3 and I hope that you survived my horrible English, I'm trying to improve, I swear! Thank you so much I love this ship and you can find me on twitter: https://twitter.com/ShouyouHinata10  
> Ah, the song mentioned is by Patrick Watson, Sit down beside me. Thank you so much again!


End file.
